Why hell mouth?
by losttear
Summary: Buffy wonders why they call it the hell mouth and decides to find out. Full of fun, weirdness and crazy thoughts [one shot]


_Summary: Buffy wants to know why they called it the hell mouth, filled with weirdness, fun and crazy thoughts one shot_

_Disclaimer: Don't own blah blah blah _

**Why hell mouth?**

Being woken up by the sound of the sirens isn't the fairy tale I painted in my head. It's no one's really. Well, actually I think the Master might be pleased at this very point. He's got us, humans running around, scared, almost begging at his feet. Welcome to Sunnydale, otherwise known as 'The Hell Mouth.'

I might sound really stupid, but have you ever wondered why it's called the hell MOUTH? I know I have. When I asked Giles, he just grinned at me, so did Willow and even Sander, although I don't think he has any clue, just trying to look smart.

"Hey Giles, why did they call it the hell mouth and not the hell nose of ears?"

"Ha" he looks at me, his mouth curves up in a slight smile, but doesn't answer my question.

"Willow" I turn to my long haired friend "Why'd it called the hell mouth?" I asked awaiting a reply.

She giggles too. What's wrong with the world? Just because the question sounds so incredibly dumb, doesn't mean you cant tell me. If you do, I'll stop asking wont I? I stare at Giles for a while as he flicks the pages of an old, dusty book. I squint. I begin to doubt whether he knows and just thinks I'm too pathetic to even answer me, or he's hiding the fact that he doesn't know and he's ashamed of it.

Well if no one's gonna tell me, I'm gonna find out. And they cant be mad at me coz it's partly their fault, they didn't want to tell me.

That night I wander to the graveyard and take a sit on a John Penwich's grave. Hm…died in 1982, wow, old dude! By now the vamps know better than to come out when I'm there, so they stay put.

I pout crossing my arms over my chest.

"C'mon, I wont bite!" I shout looking around "that's really your job" I laugh at the stupid joke I just made.

I know what you're thinking. "This is the slayer's mind, ha!" but I can actually be quite sensible at times.

I sigh, realising that there's no one there. As I turn around to walk away, I hear something move. I turn

"That's it, baby, come on out" I clench my fists and grab a hand that's just popped out of the ground.

It's a girl.

"Hey! I'm Buffy." I introduce myself.

"I'm Cindy" the girl smiles. I don't think she's hungry for blood just yet, so I sit down on her tombstone, to have a heart to…well, no heart talk.

"Have you ever wondered about something and when you asked your friends they all laughed?" I ask, observing her carefully.

I have never looked at a vampire that close before without it attacking me. Well, apart from Angel of course. Ah, my dreamy Angel. Where are you? I stare into the distance and the girl begins to speak, snapping me back to reality.

"Yeah I guess, why, do you have a question?" the girl wonders, her eyebrows wrinkled. Poor thing, she seriously needs a face lift.

"Why did they call it the hell _mouth_" I stress the word 'mouth' so that she gets the point.

She doesn't say anything and then begins to chuckle quietly, in her own specific vampire way.

"Oh, go to hell" I curse her, simply stabbing her in the chest with a steak. (Buff: not really sure how to spell that ME: shees, you are dumb. Buff: Alright, beat me over the head with it Me: CRASH! don't be mad, you asked me to…anyway…)

I'm so mad. Even the vampires are laughing at me. What are my supposed to do, no one takes me seriously. Time to higher the risks.

I walk to the darker side of the graveyard. The Master's lair. That's right. I knew where it was all along, I just didn't tell Giles, coz I'm really mad at him. Grrr.

Walking down slowly, with the steak in my hand, knowing how completely useless it is, I gaze at all the candles.

"You're a bit of a Romantic" I look at the dark figure in the corner.

"Slayer?" he hisses, slowly backing away from me. He knows he could take me, but his powers are lowered.

"Look, you're too weak to fight me and I really cant be bothered. I need an answer to a question that's been bugging me for a while now and if you don't tell me, I'm just gonna have to break a nail" I inform him clenching my fists, as he comes out of the darkness, the candle light grazing his wrinkly face.

"Alright, slayer, I'll tell you. Go ahead and ask."

I bite my lip and blush slightly, I don't want to seem stupid in front of the Vampire of all Vampires.

"Here's the deal." I say, scratching my head, nervously. "I know this may sound stupid, but why is it called the hell mouth? I mean why not the hell eyes, that sounds way more glamorous."

To my surprise he sighs and takes a seat next to me, putting his old hand on my gentle shoulder.

"You have no idea how many slayers have asked me that" he mumbles, lightly pulling at his fangs. "And I can tell you a reason for that too."

I blink "A reason? There's no reason, I just wondered."

"Oh no, there's a reason. You see, everyone else finds it stupid that you even ask, after a while you'll realise just how stupid it really is."

I frown.

"The reason is that's you're bored. I have to admit, today's vamps are just not as tough as the ones in the olden days."

Great, the olden days. He's beginning to sound like my great aunt Muriel.

"You know when I was young, the slayers respected us vamps, it was a simpler time…"

"Look, are you gonna tell me or not?" I look at him as he pouts. He looks really funny. In all my 16 years, I never pictured sitting down with the inventor of all evil, talking about the olden days.

"Ok, I'll tell you…" he explains it all to me.

And now I know. I guess it does sound kinda stupid, why didn't I think of it before?

And that's how I found out why they call it the 'Hell MOUTH'

The End.

Ha-ha, see, I got you all angry now, that I didn't tell you the reason…Fine.

Let me warn you, when you find out you're gonna kick yourself, hard (hopefully hehe)

They called it the Hell Mouth coz…(drum role please)…they wanted to.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! -cough cough-

I thought it was pretty funny when the Master told me…if you're not peeing yourself laughing by now, then you have no sense of humour, Goodbye. -storms out-

Me: Wow that's some random slayer, dudes…er…hope you liked this short, weird story…R&R please…if you're crazy like Buff.

Buff: Hey! -pouts-

Me: Sorry -hugs-

Buff: -stabs me- Die MUAHAHAHA

Me: AAAAAAAH!

...Now it's the End...

_Me: I would just like to apologise to any Buffy fans out there, I hope I didn't offend you, but its not my fault she's a bit dumb._

_Buff: Hey! _

_Me: Oh, who are you kidding? -raise my eyebrow-_

_Buff: Yeah, I guess you're right. R&R please J_

_Me: I might have to think twice before writing another Buffy fic, eh? _

_Buffy: -growls- _

_Me: Eeek! -gulp-_

_Buffy: Hehe, that'll show ya. Oh and if you don't review, I'm gonna have to break a nail -clenches fists- _

_Me: I'd listen to here if I were you -whispers- she's crazy!_

_Buff: I heard that!_

_Me: Ok, Buff, we really have to go now, we're wasting the good people's time._

_Buff: Yeah, Ok. See ya when the world ends. Bye bye._

_Me: Bye -smiles-_


End file.
